Now He Knows He's Wrong
by cumberbr0
Summary: Cas is back, only one problem. He doesn't remember Dean or Sam or anything that had transpired. Can they bring back the angels memory and keep his as an ally? Or will he be lost forever?
1. Chapter 1

Dean hated monsters. Truly, with every ounce of himself, he hated them. His father taught him to destroy every single one he came in contact with since he could hold a gun and knife; and for good reason. Monsters killed his mother, monsters killed Sams girlfriend, they've killed most everybody Deans' ever cared about, they almost made him lose Sammy, they were the reason Dean had to let go of Lisa and Ben, and monsters killed his best friend, his angel, Castiel.  
>It only made sense that Dean's first instinct was to kill the damn things, especially if they hurt the people he cared about. And the Leviathan, well they hurt one of the few people Dean ever truly cared about. They basically killed his brother, and as a hunter Dean Winchester wasn't about to let a goddamn monster get away with it.<p>

The hunter turned to his brother, "You're staying here." he ordered, his voice low but authorative.  
>The younger man opened his mouth to argue, but was quickly silenced; "Sam, I'm not going to let you go in there, not when we don't know exactly what we're up against."<p>

Instantly, Sam dropped it. He knew by the tone of the older man's voice that there was nothing he could have done or said in that moment to allow him to go with.

Dean looked at his brother, "You're going to wait in the car, with your phone on incase we need to make a quick escape."

Sam nodded, taking the keys from his brother; "You have a half hour."

"I'll be back before then." With that, Dean grabbed his gun and got out of his baby.

As the man walked away from his car and from his brother, his mind began to wander. His thoughts almost automatically drifted to the angel he was going to avenge.

Dean couldn't help but push every good memory he had with Cas aside, thought it'd been months since everything happened. All the hunter could do was focus on every single time he treated the angel unfairly, on every time he should have realized Cas was hiding something, on every time he was just a straight up dick to the angel. Almost as soon as those thoughts would appear, the memories of the last day he'd seen Cas would pop right up.

Dean hated himself for how he acted the last hours he had with his angel, that he didn't just apologize to him and hug him and forgive him for everything he'd done. Instead he'd been too prideful and stubborn. Now, all he had left was his guilt, remorse, and the angels dirty trench coat that he would never seen without, that the hunter now used as a makeshift pillow.

The hunter sighed deeply, trying to focus on the task before him. The grand task of killing the big bad sonofabitch that killed his best friend.

"God, or whoever the hell's in charge up there now…If you could help me out, it'd be appreciated," Dean breathed. The man wasn't afraid, he was determined. If killing the monster that killed his friend meant praying, he'd do it. "I'm trying to save the world and I know that doesn't mean much to most of you, but it meant a lot to one of your brothers. Help me out for him, or hell…if he's still up there, send 'im down." the last bit was sarcastic, in the normal Dean Winchester sense, but hey, it was only Heaven that he was mocking.

Cocking his gun, and securing the blade he always kept in his boot; the hunter moved forward, tentatively. He was careful not to make a sound, even monster wasn't in sight. The hunter knew how sound could travel in the middle of the woods, he also knew how well every single monster could hear.

—  
>Sam had made his way to the drivers seat of the Impala and was sitting tensely as he waited for his brother. He knew nothing would happen to Dean, he just didn't want to leave the poor bastard out there alone.<p>

While Sam was clearly messed up, he felt that Dean was worse off; because he wasn't so obvious about being in pain, he kept everything inside and blocked off. To the untrained eye, one wouldn't even be able to detect it, but Sam knew his brother. Sam knew that Dean was just as messed up as he was, if not more-so.

Sam knew how much regret and pain his brother was feeling, it was kind of like when he'd lost Jess. He had felt like it was all his fault, just like he knew Dean was feeling now about Cas.

When Sam looked at his brother he saw the pain, the way the older man was falling apart, and he saw the way his brother's face became rigid when he looked at the trench coat he'd taken from the water. He also saw the vengeful look that had been in his brothers eyes as he left the car.

Sam Winchester was worried that his brother would do something reckless to avenge his fallen friend, but he wouldn't dare say it out loud.

Whenever his mind reached that thought, he heard something…Something he didn't think he was going to ever hear again.

The younger man pulled out his phone and called his brother.

—-

_'Car. Get here. Now. It's more important than the Leviathan.'_ Sam had said. So of course, Dean started off towards his car. When he finally saw it through the bushes, he said;

"Sam, this had better be go-"

When the hunter saw what was there he stopped completely in his tracks. Everything was racing through his mind at that moment and the man felt every single emotion that was humanly possible. He was even pretty sure he wasn't breathing. But none of that mattered as he said one simple word,

"Cas."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note**: Sorry for the short chapter, guys. I promise it'll be worth it in the end.  
><em>

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><p>Dean couldn't move. As soon as his eyes locked on the sight in front of him, everything just stopped. He wasn't even positive if he was actually breathing. All he knew was that he was transfixed on the angel, his angel.<p>

The hunter couldn't help but notice that the angel looked…really well. His dress shirt was cleaned from all the black residue of the Leviathan, everything looked neatly pressed, even his tie was tied properly. A sense of complete relief washed over the hunter, seeing that Cas was there and he was fine, but he couldn't quite get rid of the feeling that something was wrong.

"See Dean, I told you this was more important than the Leviathan." Sam said, smirking slightly as he looked at his older brother. Dean wanted to say that technically nothing was more important than their job, but he couldn't get the words out. He just simply nodded instead, his eyes still on the angel.

Dean wasn't sure why Cas hadn't said anything. Surely he would have said something by now, right?

The hunter looked at his brother, who looked very unbothered by the angels silence and quickly told himself that there was nothing wrong.

"Cas…Welcome back." Dean said, smiling at his friend.

The angel was silent, but tilted his head slightly; just like he would before whenever Dean had said something he didn't quite understand.

The hunter decided to try again, trying to push away every thought that was flowing up by the angels silence. "Where've ya been?"

The Angel looked at Dean, "I have been with my brethren, of course. Where else would I be?"

Dean just stared at the Angel, before quickly glancing at his brother. Sam was looking at Dean, his eyes a bit wide.

"Well Cas, I'd like to think you'd be with us. Since ya know, we thought you were dead. Popping up and telling us otherwise would've been nice." the elder Winchester said, shrugging his shoulders a bit annoyed.

Castiel was silent, just staring at the hunter. He looked as though he was trying to remember something…as if he were trying to remember who the two men infront of him happened to be.

That's when Dean noticed what was different with the angel. It was his eyes, they weren't the warm eyes that Cas had developed with his time with the Winchesters. They were back to the cold, emotionless, blue pits that he'd possessed when they had first met.

Dean swallowed before he spoke again, "Cas…do you remember Sam or I?"

The next moments that passed were some of the longest in Dean's entire life as he waited for his friend to answer.

"I do now forget anything, I have never met either of you."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This is still a bit shorter, but I'm getting everything moving along. So trust me, the next chapter makes up for it.  
>And thank you everybody for your reviews, :3<p>

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><p>"<em>I do not forget anything. I have never met either of you."<em>

The words struck Dean like a 16-wheeler. It physically hurt him to actually hear that his angel, his best friend, no longer had any memory of him. It felt to Dean, in a way, that Cas wasn't back. Because he wasn't. It was Castiel who'd returned, not Cas.

The hunter looked to his brother, all but pleading for him to take the lead in this situation. Because Dean knew that he just couldn't do it. He couldn't fix this and he needed to do anything but be near Castiel.

Sam, quickly realizing the look on his brother's face, took a deep breath. "Dean, call Bobby and tell him what's going on while I talk to Castiel."

The elder Winchester nodded thankfully at Sam and walked into the woods. As he got a few feet in he pulled his cell phone out and called Bobby.

"Cas, didn't you wonder why Dean and I knew who you were?" Don't you think it's a bit strange that two humans knew about you?" Sam asked the angel, calmly.

"You're the Winchesters." Castiel said simply, causing Sam to sigh.

"Angels, Castiel. How would Dean and I actually know about you, though? Even if we did know about angels, how do you expect us to know about you specifically? You aren't mentioned in the Bible, how would we know who you are if we hadn't met you previously?"

"Dean, ya okay?" Bobby asked as he answered his phone.

"Bobby, Cas is back." Dean heard the older mans intake of breath, "Don't get excited. He doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember the Leviathan, Sammy…me." His voice faltered a little bit as he said his last word.

"He has a case of Angel amnesia?" Bobby murmured, trying to break a little bit of the tension.

"Bobby, seriously. We need to fix this."

"I know, boy. Bring 'im 'round here. I have an idea." was all that Bobby Singer said before he ended the call.

The Winchester closed his eyes and sighed, taking a much needed moment to wrap his head around what was going on.

His angel was alive and Dean knew he should be thankful. He knew Cas being alive was a miracle and he didn't want to be such a bitch about it, but he couldn't focus on the good part of the situation. All he could do was focus on the fact that it wasn't his Castiel anymore. The angel didn't even remember pulling him out of Hell. No longer was the angel who'd been his dearest friend, who'd saved his life, going to be around anymore.

Dean sighed deeply and decided he'd go out and see if he could help Sam with anything.

As he did he saw Sam leaning against the Impala, talking lowly with Castiel who was just looking at the man intently. As soon as Dean came up, the angels head shot to look straight at him. Dean couldn't help himself, his breath hitched slightly at the intensity of the look the angel was shooting him.

"Bobby said to bring him with us." Dean murmured, his eyes traveling back to Sam.

"Good, because Cas here said he'd be willing to come with us so we could prove to him that we know him."

Dean looked back at the angel, who had his typical stoic look upon his face. He breathed deeply as he went over to the driver's seat of his car.

—-

They arrived at Bobby's in just under fifteen minutes. They were easily fifteen of the most awkward and tense minutes either of the Winchester boys had ever faced. It was completely silent, the only sound coming from whatever song had been playing on the radio. Dean was positive he'd never been happier to be anywhere but his car.

As they got out of the car Dean didn't bother to wait for Castiel or Sam he just went straight into Bobby's house.

"Bobby!" He called, anxious to hear the hunter's plan.

"I'm in here!" Bobby called from his office.

Dean quickly headed over there and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off. "Where are your brother and Cas?"

"We're here, Bobby." came Sam's voice as he walked into the room, Castiel right behind him.

"What's your plan, Bobby?" Dean asked, finally getting his chance to speak.

Bobby stood up from his chair and went over to the closet and instantly Dean froze. He knew exactly what the older man was getting. He looked over to Sam, who still looked slightly confused by what Bobby was doing. As soon as his eyes locked with Dean's the realization hit him.

Bobby extracted something from the closet and walked over to the angel, "Cas, can you put this on for me?" he asked, handing him the tan trench coat.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel blinked, tilting his head slightly as he looked at the trench coat, "What is that?" he asked, his glance shifting to Bobby.

"It was something you left behind. It was your jacket when you were with us before." Dean answered for the older man.

Cas' eyes lingered over to Dean, with a look the hunger couldn't quite read. It was kind of like Cas was searching for something that was just out of his line of sight, for something he knew was there but couldn't see.

The angel then looked at Sam briefly, and the younger man smiled encouragingly at him. Cas looked back to Bobby and after a moment he reached forward to grab the jacket, his hand gripping it tightly.

As soon as Castiel had touched the odd coat - his coat- images came floating back to him. It was like the past was literally flying by him, like he was watching a film.

_First he saw when he'd first technically met Dean and Bobby in the barn, he saw himself getting shot;_

_Castiel had rebelled for Dean against his brothers, he saw himself killing his own kin to protect the ungrateful hunter. _

_Cas remembered the war in Heaven over power and how he was necessary to stay there as he saw Dean ordering him around like some sort of servant, completely uncaring that the angel was trying to deal with problems in his home that were seemingly more important than his simple human quests._

_The angel needed power to save humanity, he saw himself make a deal with a demon, Crowley, to get souls out of Purgatory and hiding it from Dean. He saw Dean's reaction, seeing that Castiel was all but dead to the hunter for trying to do the right thing and to save everybody._

_Castiel was the New God…and Dean had told Death to kill him. A look of pure hatred was all over the hunters face, no remorse to be seen._

Almost as soon as the images had appeared, they were gone. His eyes shot open, and he dropped the coat as though it were hot coals. The quick motion left Cas a bit wobbly on his feet. He leaned against a wall, trying to steady himself.

He looked around him, and instantly his eyes locked onto Dean, the man who had claimed to be his friend.

"Cas?" Sam asked, hesitantly, taking a step towards the angel.

"Do not come near me," Castiel whispered his eyes lingering to the youngest Winchester and Bobby, "None of you come near me."

Sam quickly held up his hands and took a step from the angel.

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean asked, the confusion evident in his voice.

The angels head shot to him again, "You tried to get Death to kill me, you used me, you manipulated the fact that I cared about you to get me to do your dirty work;" Cas stood up and Dean quickly spoke before Cas got a chance to continue,

"Cas, we're friends. I'm sorry for all of what happened,-"

"Dean Winchester, we are _not_friends."

And with a flutter of wings, Castiel was gone leavign Bobby, Sam, and Dean all in a haze for a few moments.

Bobby turned to Dean, "Good goin', how are you planning of fixing this boy?"

Dean didn't say a word, instead he simply walked out, heading to his car.

It was his fault that they'd lost Castiel again.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I'm sorry for not updating. We lost power here for about a week so I didn't have a computer. And I apologize for this filler chapter. I'm diggin the reviews and subscriptions. Keep them coming :)

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><p>The Impala had been Dean's refuge for years. Anytime anything happened or whenever somebody left his life. No matter what happened, Dean always had that car. Usually, that knowledge and some whiskey could cute just about anything.<p>

The only thing that it didn't help was when he'd lost Sammy. And well now, it wasn't helping him with having lost Castiel. Though maybe that was the fact he'd has a taste of Cas, only to have him torn away. Again.

The few moments when the angel had appeared - before he'd learned he didn't remember anything - had been the sweetest moments Dean had experienced since he'd learned that Cas had made that deal with Crowley. For those few seconds, Cas was back from the dead. And that was the very thing Dean had been hoping for. But of course, those douche bag angels ruined it.

Those sonsofbitches took away his angels memory, they took away all the time Cas had spent with them…had spent with Dean. And he'd by lying if he said it didn't hurt hearing that Castiel didn't know who he was, when all the hunter had been able to do was think about said angel. And Dean's previous behavior that he regretted more than anything had inevitably been the reason that Castiel left and the reason he wasn't coming back.

The only decent things to come out of the day were that he'd found out Cas was alive and that the angel at least knew who the hunter was. If nothing else, that was a start.

A knock on the door of the Impala brought Dean out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Sammy standing outside, doubled over so his face was peering into the window. He looked a bit expectantly at his brother, silently asking for permission into the car. It was permission that Dean quickly granted.

Sam opened the door, quickly sitting himself into the worn seat of Dean's car.

"Really? You're listening to Air Supply?" the younger man teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Dean looked at him, "Shut up. There's nothing else on the radio." The man wouldn't dare admit it, but he actually really liked the band. But he wouldn't admit it though, because it'd take away from his badass persona.

"How are you? Bobby and I are worried about you after…" Sam let his voice trail off.

"I'm just peach, Sam." he answered, his typical sarcastic tone in place.

"Dean, I know how much Cas means to you. I swear we'll figure out a way to bring him back." Sam murmured, his hand resting on his brother's shoulder, "Bobby said come inside when you're ready…Don't beat yourself up over this, man."

And with those words, Sam was getting out of the car and Dean's thoughts lingered back to his angel.

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><p>Castiel had never been so outraged. Yes, in all his years of being an angel he felt little sparks of anger or sadness or happiness, but he'd never been so outright angry. He felt the anger, the betrayal, the hurt all the way down to his core.<p>

He was obviously hurt by what he'd seen of his life; of Dean Winchester. Though, he didn't quite understand the immensity of what he was feeling because of how new these emotions were and how foreign they seemed…Even if they weren't really new at all.

Which led Castiel to his feeling of betrayed, sparked from Heaven. His brothers wiped out his memory; they'd taken his life and his emotions away from him. They had lied to him, every single one of them.

That was the moment Castiel knew he wasn't going to be able to return home.

So instead, he stayed on some country road thinking about Dean Winchester. The angel couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was missing something, something that he could feel but he couldn't pinpoint. He needed to figure it out, but he had no idea where to start.

Except for going right to Dean Winchester.


End file.
